Ease the Pressure: Boost Energy & Resilience with Kindness and Compassion

In these days of increasing pressure, when circumstances seem to drain your time and energy, people often ask me if they should take time off work if they feel like they are experiencing burnout or heading towards it.

This is true at all times of year, but there are often crunch points, like at Christmas for example, when it becomes even more important to address this, because people are under lots of extra pressure, and more prone to burnout. Who hasn’t been part of, or hasn’t witnessed frayed tempers in December?

This can also be a time of year when divorce thoughts rear their heads in many households. Similarly, when people are going through life transitions such as new roles at work, new babies or juggling work and coping with parenthood if you have young children, it can be very hard.

Equally tough can be having teenagers in the house who are trying to find ways of coping with their own problems, or maybe you have responsibility for caring for elderly parents, are dealing with the threat of redundancy or any of the other numerous challenges that turn up in life.

Not only can these environments cause you stress, but they can also start to wear away at your self-confidence, so you feel even less able to deal with whatever is going on for you.

There is good news too though. These are also examples of times when you can demonstrate compassion both to yourself and other people, if you have the awareness to do so. If you recognise your self-worth by refuelling every so often instead of listening to the dangerous voice in your head that tells you it’s not possible because you don’t have time.

When you are able to do this, it will really help you to remain resilient and keep your head above water.

Surprising? Here’s why.

Kindness means treating ourselves in the best way we can. It means thinking about how we would ideally like others to treat us, and of course treating them with the same thoughtfulness, integrity and respect.

This can be a big ask admittedly, but wherever you can, it really does help to be open-minded and compassionate. Not surprisingly, this is true both when you are at home, and in the workplace. That’s because it creates a truly win-win situation.

Supporting you, or them?

Perhaps though, like many of my clients when they first start their coaching journey, the thought of spending extra time being kind or more concerned about others, seems like yet another task to tick off your never-ending to-do list.

On the other hand, possibly you are someone who is feeling so busy or overwhelmed, because you are already looking after everyone else. For you, the thought of being kind to yourself in this situation, whilst you have loads to organise, targets to meet, people to support and a to-do list which seems to be on growth hormones, it can seem impossible, almost like a chore. This is when building resilience is so important.

Even if you agree that this is something it would be lovely to do, it just doesn’t seem practical. The problem is that you’re probably exhausted. In the end, it will completely wear you out. It may even cause health problems of your own. And health problems can cause work problems, financial and relationship problems.

Would you be prepared to consider that it’s time to take stock and think about what changes you could make?

Yes, it’s important, but how can I do it?

So how do you get around this, so that you can be there for others, and also look after yourself? It’s important to remember that if you don’t look after yourself, there will come a point when you will not be able to be there for others. Maybe you have heard the saying, “You must make time for your wellness, otherwise you will be forced to make time for your illness”. A sobering thought.

Being kind to yourself is not selfish. When I coach my private clients, it is often precisely this way of thinking that puts people off being compassionate towards themselves. Frequently, these people are very thoughtful towards others, but ‘do without’ themselves. If you feel like this, you will often find yourself putting your needs right to the bottom of the list. Does that sound familiar?

Tips for work and home

Self-compassion is in fact, self-nurturing. Not selfish, as it may at first, feel to you.

When you can be kind to yourself and value and protect your time and energy levels, it leads to greater strength and resilience. It helps you to remain healthier mentally and physically and in turn, it means you can be of greater use to others as a friend, parent, partner, colleague, manager, or leader.

At work, it means not simply following policies and procedures but listening to that person to understand what’s really needed. Or even just listening. It means knowing where your boundaries are and keeping them firmly in place.

If you are someone with influence, could changing timescales, working hours, or any number of other possibilities be preferable to that person eventually needing to go off sick?

Big and small companies alike are finding more and more that pressure is being put on individuals to perform, often trying to do more than one person’s job. Those individuals are then putting themselves under more pressure to demonstrate that they can cope. It’s not a recipe for success.

Probably more often than you believe, it is possible to say NO without dire consequences. Communicating this in the right way is the trick to saying NO successfully.

In the home environment, it means listening without dismissing your friend or family members’ feelings and words, even if you don’t agree with what they are saying. It’s fine to not be of the same opinion. People all see things from different perspectives, but sometimes people just need to be heard.

Sometimes asking for help, rather than assuming that you have to everything yourself in order to do it ‘properly’, can really help. How much does it really matter if the dishwasher isn’t loaded ‘correctly’? For ‘correctly’, read, ‘the way I would do it myself’.

Genuine compassion gives you the ability to handle pressure and the demands on your own time and energy. When you recognise your individual needs, with this comes the ability to plan effectively and efficiently. It enables positive working and family relationships, better connections, increased well-being, and in turn, results in a generally more pleasant, and therefore more productive working environment and home life.

I have seen this work with my clients again and again, so I know from experience that this is true and when you have the strategies in place, transformation really can take place. Transformation both to how you feel, and what you can achieve. And the bonus is that in December, it seriously increases your chances of a happier Christmas!

If you’d like to find out more about how to take the pressure off yourself, get in touch with me at linda@brighterchanges.co.uk Bespoke action-driven coaching could help you find new strategies that work for you in your own circumstances. There is never any charge for talking to me about possibilities.